Thursday 7 May 2015

Notes On Turning 30

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Hello World, it's my Birthday. And not just any birthday, but a big one. THE big one (until 40). The big 3-0. 30. Thirty. I'm thirty today. Today, I am 30. I'm just going to keep repeating that because I'm not quite sure I believe it. I don't feel thirty. I'm certain I rarely act thirty. I probably look thirty, but let's not go there. So what's a girl to do when she's faced with entering a new decade? 

Ride the emotional rollercoaster, of course! Over the last two weeks leading up to this day I have been at times excited, angry, confused, indifferent, and blasé. 

I've worked to figure out why, when I know logically it's just a number, I'm reacting this way. Let's break these down for real.

Excited - It's a whole new decade! I don't relate to those hard-partying 20 somethings, so now it's time to find my people. Huzzah! Also, look at everything I've done and I'm only 30! I've traveled near and far. I've lived on 3 continents. I've met the greatest man and gotten married (he even baked 2 dozen chocolate glazed doughnuts for a party on Saturday). I've finished a Master's degree. I've got a career. I've got the greatest friends. All in all I'm thrilled with where life has taken me and I cannot wait for the adventure to continue.

Angry - This often comes with the dangerous exercise of comparison. Don't ever do this. It's stupid. I did it and I felt crappy after. All those great things I've accomplished that I just mentioned? Well, they get lost in the void and the focus gets switch to the things I haven't done compared to friends/family/complete strangers. 

Confused - Am I supposed to feel different? Because I do and don't all at the same time, which is confusing in and of itself. 

Indifferent - Whatever, it's just another day. Except I'm going to get a free drink at Starbuck's - so that's a plus. 

Blasé - Harrumph. Meh. Ugh. However you word it, that's me.

At this moment, I'm a little bit of all of these things, and I feel like I'm feeling all of the feels, but come tomorrow they're all going to be a thing of the past - and I'm pretty happy about that. It'll be back to normal and in reality no different than any other day. 

There you have it world, that's me at thirty. It's time to go and eat some cake!

Until next time!

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